What we do not know will not hurt, but boy does it sting when you uncover the lies hidden by the very intention to not hurt you hey? At least to not hurt you directly, and temporarily. So what do you say if it was you? Do you want the knives coming one after the other straight at your face, or would you rather them being juggled at the back of your head, the tip of the knife always close to your heart beat until the day you finally turn around and realise and PEW, it pierces right through? Your emotional condition will then dissemble for a length of time which is dependent on how much you cared and trusted before that betrayal. Obviously your answer is ‘keep the knives coming at my face, even if it hurts’. The typical, and very naive answer we give to our friends and acquaintances – mainly friends. It’s like we think we can catch those knives instead of letting them dig into us, and this is where we overestimate ourselves as capable of handling truths, please – no you can’t. If anything, you will cry and whine and start to hate people and cry a lot. I will, you will, we all will. Yes it is better than finding out the bitching about you afterwards, but no you would unlikely have been able to take in the criticism either. Whether that holds true or not for you, you can ask yourself. In the meantime, lets not forget how we keep a sort of opposite logic towards other people. Things like sugar-coating, saying what people want to hear, and lies (even in the physical aspect of pretence, it doesn’t have to be a literal lie that was told), they suddenly become prominent and necessary. It’s suddenly better to not let the an asshole know that they’re an asshole and you hate them, and so indirectly, you are protecting this person from the truth. Very contrary to what we’d hope for ourselves.
Now to bring this into a current situation, which I’m sure will sound familiar. In a group of friends that are particularly close as a unit, there’s one member who receives a giant mass of criticism from the rest, and that criticism – it goes around to everyone, from everyone, except to the ears of that member themselves. Hints fall through now and then, but too subtle to make conclusions upon. And what does that mean? The knives will continue to circulate out of sight at the back of their head, the date of revelation of truth unknown, maybe even never to be known if kept at such a rate. So the question becomes: when do we peel this protection away? When does the necessity of sugar-coating, saying what people want to hear, and lying reach it’s point? From all that I’ve heard, observed, and personally felt – it has already long reached its point in this very case. Those knives are the same knives that symbolise the potential end of friendship (because can you really still say they’re a “friend” with any meaning left in the word?), but it’s obvious nobody wants to be the one to put that knife through. I mean, who would ever want to play the drama-causing bad guy? Not me. At the same time, it’s also obvious that keeping it up is not doing anyone any favours, not to the ‘group’, definitely not to the oblivious Subject who neither knows how people really feel about them, or have any initiative to change in time. Sooner or later, history will inevitably repeat itself, and it makes me depressed realising that. It’s like watching a Tsunami wave crawl towards you from a distance without a clue on the speed it is travelling at. For now, I will just hope the best for the coming week. Subject only needs to behave for 4 nights.