A moment of graceful thinking

I have moments where I imagine myself differently, more confident; more intimidating; more bitchy, even. What if people never saw me as somebody that could be “fucked around with” (in the graceful words of a certain somebody) just because I won’t fight back. Thinking back now, what if instead of putting up with it, I had looked that girl in the eye and called her a bitch? What if I told that guy that he was actually an egotistical prick and should stay the hell away from me? What if I said shut the fuck up I don’t care to everyone who annoyed or bored me with their nonsense? Would I be happier, knowing that less people will mess with me and I would be what people call a “strong” person. Lol. It’s weird but thinking about how satisfying it would be to see the confused faces of these people make me smile. I would never do it, nor do I believe it is the right thing to do, but there’s just these times where I can’t help but wonder about these things.

(I just saw a giant Facebook DP of someone I used to really like, but after a lengthy time realising the crappy person they actually were, now stare at in great distaste. Which brings me on this train of thought.)


3 months

Your first relationship tells a lot about who you are, such as: what gives you butterflies and what would absolutely piss you off, how you behave in fights and the way you resolve issues, and maybe a better idea of the kind of person you need in your life (unless you stay in your first relationship then well… good for you). After all the mistakes made and lessons learnt and feeling like you could give expert love advice after your break up, you’d think you’re totally prepared in your next one. HAHA WHAT A JOKEI don’t even know what the fuck is going on. It doesn’t even feel like it’s been 3 months.